I’ve spent the past two days in a funk. I’ve been quiet, withdrawn, and I’ve thrown myself into new projects around the house. I make mention of this often, but I’m a loner. I spend most of my time alone during the day. I’ve grown to enjoy it. I get this trait from my mother.
I’m going to be vulnerable with you in this column, and open up to you about anxiety and fear. Neither of them are friends of mine. I felt the familiar wave of both edge nearer and closer as my chest has remained tight for several days. It’s the worst feeling, truly it is. It comes and goes. Sometimes I’ll go months at a time and not encounter it, I’ll even forget it was ever an issue. However when it returns, it’s horrible.
I talk a big game sometimes. I think we’re all guilty of it. I put up this shield and feel protected. I try to elude folks that I’m right as rain. I try my best to stay positive and encouraging, but alas on days when I get in my feelings, I digress. Today was tough. Today was challenging. Today was difficult. I cried a lot today. I let things rest on my shoulders that shouldn’t. I dwelled.
I’m certain maybe some of you have felt the same? I wish I had magic words to make it all go away, but I don’t. I do know that you aren’t alone. I struggle too.
Right now many of us are facing “unknowns.” Those unknowns all look different and rightfully so. All of our situations are diverse and unique. It’s pointless to plan much of anything right now, or even into the near future. We all are somewhat living one day at a time.
One of my favorite quotes is by Corrie Ten Boom, “Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”
Our future is unknown, but our God is still known. That hasn’t changed. I take refuge in that.
I consider you, the readers, to be friends, I’m grateful for the opportunity to share my feelings, thoughts, and fears with you. Even on days when my anxiety is through the roof, and fear is hovering like a fog, I find comfort in knowing my struggles are your struggles, and vice versa.
The unknown is ahead of us, but the known is still on the throne. Together, even as bent and out of shape as we find ourselves sometimes, we can get through this season.
Thanks for listening, I’ll see you next week. Hang in there!
Erinn Williams is originally from Williamsburg, and now resides in Owensboro, Ky. The daughter of a teacher and a preacher, she hopes to make a difference through her words. She serves as a teacher's assistant in Daviess County, and writes for two newspapers in Western Kentucky. She can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org.