, Corbin, KY


February 1, 2013

Into the abyss and back

CORBIN — Why don’t you want to?

I’m not in the mood.

Why not?

I don’t know.

So, what kind of mood are you in?

I don’t know.

Do you want to talk about it?


Why not?

I’m not in the mood.


I don’t know.

And around and around... and... around.

It seems all of us have been on one end of that conversation at one time or another. Although, I don’t think anyone sees it as being much of a conversation.

Who knows what can send a person’s psyche spiraling down that slippery, moss-covered rabbit’s hole into the abyss, a tunnel so slick that for every step you take, you slide back three — or four — more.

It’s called depression.

And I am in complete agreement with the television commercial that says, “Depression hurts.” It hurts a lot more than just the one seemingly affected by it.

Now, I don’t claim to be a doctor or shrink or know anything about the science of psychiatry. I just know what I know, and like most people, at one time or another I know I’ve been either inside or standing just outside that abysmal rabbit hole.

A good friend of mine recently lost her husband, her soul mate. Taking time out to mourn was understandable, but as time went on, it became easier and easier to slip inside herself, spending days upon days sitting at home, ignoring the phone, ignoring the house, and in a sense, doing absolutely nothing.

Even her young grandchildren, who had always brought life and exuberance into her home, realized their grandmother was not herself. The kind, generous, spoil-the-kids grandma had been replaced with an irritable, short-tempered woman they simply didn’t recognize.

The more depressed she became, the more she rejected the world. The more she rejected the world, the more depressed she became... and so on and so on.

My friend and I have spoken about this at length on many occasions, and I think I may have it figured out.

The longer one leaves the car’s lights on without the engine running, the weaker the battery becomes. The weaker the battery becomes, the less anyone notices how dim the lights are becoming — until the battery closes in on itself and gives up.

So, how do you bring the battery back to life?

A quick jump from an outside source usually does the trick.

Occasionally, it’s that same jolt from an “outside source” that’ll begin bringing someone out of the throes of depression. Granted, it usually takes a pretty big jolt to get the old body up and moving again.

As I said, I am just making an observation from both sides of the fence. It took a really swift kick in the pants to jumpstart my friend – or maybe it was two or three. The “poynt” is, no sooner did she get back into life when she turned and gave ME a swift kick in return. See, I have owned this house for more than a year and a half and, until a few weeks ago, the place didn’t look any different than it did the day I moved in. The place was depressing.

There’s that word again.

My friend assured me that although the house was clean, there was nothing impressive about the “climate controlled storage unit” I had created.


She was right. It was time for me to haul myself out of the abyss — and I didn’t even realize I was down there.

Together we dug our heels in and got to work. We started on Friday and by Sunday the house looked, and felt, like someone actually lived there. It now feels comfortable, like a place to live, not just a place to sleep.

I guess, in this case, depression truly “took one to know one.”

My friend and I talk almost daily now, oftentimes about those rough patches in our lives and the circumstances leading up to them. Perhaps, by keeping the dark thoughts up and out in the open, they won’t be able to pull either of us back down into that black abyss.

Here’s to good friends.

And taking it one day at a time...

Bobbie Poynter is the community editor at the Times-Tribune. She can be reached at

Text Only
  • LIKE IT OR NOT: MLB's All Star effort was a bust

    With the 85th edition of Major League Baseball’s All-Star game in the books, I have to say I feel like the whole thing was a complete bust.

    July 18, 2014

  • THE WAY IT IS: Some local teams can make a run

    Well folks, our Little League All-Star action is beginning to wind down, and I’ve been fortunate enough to see two of the Tri-County’s resp

    July 17, 2014

  • LIKE IT OR NOT: It's been a very busy summer

    While a lot of people would expect the local sports scene to slow down in the Tri-County in the summer time, that’s not usually the case for us here at the Times-Tribune.

    July 16, 2014

  • John Ross.jpg May we all cherish those few WWII vets who still live

    I watch this old BBC program pretty often called “Are You Being Served?” It’s mostly out of syndication — what shows remain can be seen most often through PBS.

    July 10, 2014 1 Photo

  • 0502 Bobbie Poynter So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, adieu

    I never have been very good at saying goodbye — family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, community — for years you’ve had my back and in turn, I believe I’ve had yours.

    July 7, 2014 1 Photo

  • Ronnie Ellis.jpg ‘Uh hummm!’ It’s been an interesting week

    One column can’t cover everything from a busy week of political events, but here are some quick takeaways from last week.

    July 7, 2014 1 Photo

  • Brad Hall.jpg Let’s multiply our numbers like fleas do

    Last Saturday, my wife, Carmen, and I spent the day at the Kings Island theme park near Cincinnati, Ohio.

    July 7, 2014 1 Photo

  • John Burkhart.jpg Not an earthly trace

    Just married (1897) and in his late 20’s, my grandfather was determined to make a living on a hillside farm covered in wilderness; much as his father had done before him in 1846  when he arrived from Germany.

    July 7, 2014 1 Photo

  • Brad Hall.jpg Col. Mustard with the candlestick in Heaven

    One of my favorite movies is the murder mystery comedy “Clue,” which is based on the popular board game of the same name.

    June 30, 2014 1 Photo

  • John Burkhart.jpg Now or Never

    A story is told of an old widower who decided it was time to find a new wife. He chose to look for this new bride through the obituaries column; identifying new widows.

    June 30, 2014 1 Photo

Front page
Featured Ads
Twitter Updates
Follow us on twitter
AP Video
Arizona Prison Chief: Execution Wasn't Botched Calif. Police Investigate Peacock Shooting Death Raw: Protesters, Soldiers Clash in West Bank Police: Doctor Who Shot Gunman 'Saved Lives' 'Modern Family' Star on Gay Athletes Coming Out MN Twins Debut Beer Vending Machine DA: Pa. Doctor Fired Back at Hospital Gunman Raw: Iowa Police Dash Cam Shows Wild Chase Obama Seeks Limits on US Company Mergers Abroad Large Family to Share NJ Lottery Winnings U.S. Flights to Israel Resume After Ban Lifted Official: Air Algerie Flight 'probably Crashed' TSA Administrator on Politics and Flight Bans Raw: National Guard Helps Battle WA Wildfires Raw: Ukraine's Donetsk Residents Flee Senators Push to End Hamas Threat in Cease-Fire A Young Victim's Premonition, Hug Before MH17 Raw: Deadly Storm Hits Virginia Campground Death Penalty Expert: 'This is a Turning Point' Raw: MH17 Victim's Bodies Arrive in Netherlands
Hyperlocal Search
Premier Guide
Find a business

Walking Fingers
Maps, Menus, Store hours, Coupons, and more...
Premier Guide