Published: April 10, 2008 10:09 am      

This I believe...

From my window

This I believe, because I am a liberal.

I believe negative campaigning is wrong.

I believe private funding of all political campaigns is wrong.

I believe all candidates should enter their races funded to the same extent of all other candidates in that particular race.

I believe that if a primary election should have only one candidate filed for the position, the race should be put off until the general election and a selection named “not this guy (or gal)” should be on the ballot. And if the candidate receives fewer votes than “not this guy (or gal),” the selection of the holder of the office will be made by placing names of all persons in the particular political division on a dartboard and be selected by the tossing of a dart.

I also believe that if one party has more than one candidate and the other party(ies) have none, the two high primary vote getters should face off in the general election. Or, if there are only two candidates in the same party primary, the two should face each other in the general election.

I believe the right of free speech should be limited only by the unnecessary shouting of “fire” in a crowded theatre.

I believe the right to carry guns should be limited to only civilian persons, and police or military persons should be required to remain unarmed, unless, of course, they have a hunting license for the state in which they reside, or are members of the National Rifle Association.

I believe the conservative organizations, such as the NRA and other firearms conscious groups, should be outlawed, as well as hunting licenses.

I believe that all mention of Madelyn Murray should be included with the crowded theatre clause of the first amendment. The display of the Ten Commandments should be limited to public buildings in which all who work there, visit there and have family that visits or works there can recite them from memory, including both the Protestant and Catholic versions.

I believe that somewhere on the horizon a real president will reign in the White House. S/he will be a peacenik, a lover of life, not death, a person who will not press his/her will upon the people, but listen to the people and do its will.

I believe that one day Mitch McConnell and Jim Bunning will be carried from the floor of the Senate kicking and screaming and reciting the Ten Commandments in Polish.

“I believe that somewhere in the darkest night, a candle glows.”

I believe that unless the electorate votes very carefully, this nation will be on a slippery slope to 95 more years in Iraq.

I believe that third, fourth and fifth, if not sixth, political parties for this nation will develop in the next few years.

I believe that some day a candidate will admit to being as liberal as John F. Kennedy did in his race. He is thought to be the last presidential candidate who admitted it publicly, some 35 years ago.

And, as the baptismal candidate declared as the preacher brought him up from the water the first time, “I believe …” and as he was brought up for the second time, “I believe …” and finally as the preacher brought him up the third time declared, “I believe this preacher is trying to drown me!”

© MMVIII, V.H. & C.K. Greene